lyrics Eminem

How the hell did he manage to get more felony charges?
He’s already got life in jail, man, what the hell is his problem?
Well, to be honest the smell of these chronic leaves make me hella demonic
They’ve compelled me to kill this elderly man
And I get these panic attacks
Pop a X@nax, relax
Tryna stick my f@#kin’ dick inside a mannequin’s ass
Then I get manic depressed
See the orthodontist get gassed
Man, it’s kick @ss
The first thing I put on is the mask
Speaking of masks, man, it ain’t too late to have a change of face
And take it off and show my face so you can see the things you facin’
Slice you up and cook you after you’re murdered by strangulation
That’s bacon souffle you makin’, ain’t you? Well, thank you Jason
There goes one more coma



I'm Having a Relapse lyrics


How the hell did he manage to get more felony charges?
He’s already got life in jail, man, what the hell is his problem?
Well, to be honest the smell of these chronic leaves make me hella demonic
They’ve compelled me to kill this elderly man
And I get these panic attacks
Pop a X@nax, relax
Tryna stick my f@#kin’ dick inside a mannequin’s ass
Then I get manic depressed
See the orthodontist get gassed
Man, it’s kick @ss
The first thing I put on is the mask
Speaking of masks, man, it ain’t too late to have a change of face
And take it off and show my face so you can see the things you facin’
Slice you up and cook you after you’re murdered by strangulation
That’s bacon souffle you makin’, ain’t you? Well, thank you Jason
There goes one more coma
Due to blunt force trauma
Just give me one more Soma
And I’ll be done for, mama
Go in the damn broom closet
Another Valium, lost it
Shovin’ the vacuum nozzle
Eminem lyrics on www.lyrics-celebrities.anekatips.com
Down the bathroom faucet
Seems like every day I get a little flakier
The medication is making my hands a little shakier
Hand me the 18 month old baby, come shake ‘em up
It’ll only take me a second to choke his trachea
Breakin’ his neck in eigh tsome places
Baby, he’s Shady comes lady
He’s got the razor-b-blades and the ch-ch-chain-ch-saw, baby
You b-b-blundering, bumbling m-m-mumbling dum-dum
Yeah, here I come-come, you hear the rumbling? Vrum-vrum
There’s something inside of that blue tub and that drum-drum
My head and torso are some won’ where they come from
Who’s it belong to, maybe the girl with the long blonde hair
Who disappeared and left her cheerleader pom-poms
Clearly there’s some’ wrong
‘Cause she didn’t come home
She’s missing
Where is she?
Something fishy is goin’ on
I guess he stuck the bitch with the pitchfork with the long prongs
Now everybody get your dance on to my damn song
Come on

Lose Yourself


[Intro]
Look, if you had one shot or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

[Verse 1]
Yo, his palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There is vomit on his sweater already
Moms forgettin' he's nervous
But on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drops bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth but the words won't come out
He's choking, how? Everybody's jokin' now
The clock's run out, time's up, over BLOW!
Snap back to reality, oh there goes gravity
Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked, he's so mad
But he won't give up that easy, no he won't have it
He knows his whole back's to these ropes
It don't matter, he's dope, he knows that
But he's broke, he's so sad that he knows
When he goes back to this mobile home
That's when it's back to the lab again, yo
This whole rhapsody, better go capture this moment
And hope it don't collapse on him

[Chorus]
You better lose yourself in the music
The moment you own it you better never let it go, oh
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
Cuz opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo
You better lose yourself in the music
The moment you own it you better never let it go, oh
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
Cuz opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo
You better

[Verse 2]
Soul's escapin' through this hole's that is gaping
This world is mines for the taking
Make me king as we move toward a new world order
A normal life is boring
But superstardom's close to post mortem
It only grows harder, homie grows hotter
He blows us all over, these hoes is all on him
Coast to coast shows, he's known as the Globetrotter
Lonely roads got him
He knows he's grown farther from home, he's no father
He goes home and barely knows his own daughter
But hold ya nose cuz here goes the cold water
These hoes don't want him no mo', he's cold prada
They moved on to the next shmo who flows
Who nose dove and sold nada
And so the so proper
His toll, it unfolds and I suppose it's old, partner
But the beat goes on
Duh duh doe, duh doe, dah dah dah dah

[Chorus]

[Verse 3]
No more games, I'ma change for due called rage
Tear this muthafuckin' roof off like two dogs caged
I was playin' in the beginnin', the mood all changed
I've been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage
But I kept rhymin' and stepped writin' the next cipher
Best believe somebody's payin' the pied piper
All the pain inside amplified by the
Fact that I can't get by with my nine to five
And I can't provide the right type of life for my family
Cuz, man, these goddamn food stamps don't buy diapers
And there's no movie, there's no Mekhi Pfifer
This is my life and these times are so hard
And it's gettin' even harder tryin' to feed and water
My seed plus teeter-totter
Caught up between bein' a father and a pre-madonna
Baby momma drama, screamin' on her
Too much for me to wanna stay in one spot
Another damn or not has gotten me to the point
I'm like a snail, I've got to formulate a plot
Or end up in jail or shot
Success is my only muthafuckin' option, failure's not
Momma love you but this trailer's got to go
I cannot grow old in Salem's Lot
So here I go, it's my shot
Feet fail me not
Cuz maybe the only opportunity that I got

[Chorus]

[Outro]
Duh doo
You can do anything you set your mind to, man


Mockingbird

[Eminem Speaking]
Yeah
I know sometimes things may not always make sense to you right now
But hey, what daddy always tell you?
Straighten up little soldier
Stiffen up that upper lip
What you crying about?
You got me

Hailie I know you miss your mom and I know you miss your dad
When I'm gone but I'm trying to give you the life that I never had
I can see you're sad, even when you smile, even when you laugh
I can see it in your eyes, deep inside you want to cry
Cuz you're scared, I ain't there?
Daddy's with you in your prayers
No more crying, wipe them tears
Daddy's here, no more nightmares
We gon' pull together through it, we gon' do it
Laneys uncles crazy, aint he?
Yeah but he loves you girl and you better know it
We're all we got in this world
When it spins, when it swirls
When it whirls, when it twirls
Two little beautiful girls
Lookin' puzzled, in a daze
I know it's confusing you
Daddy's always on the move, mamma's always on the news
I try to keep you sheltered from it but somehow it seems
The harder that I try to do that, the more it backfires on me
All the things growing up as daddy that he had to see
Daddy don't want you to see but you see just as much as he did
We did not plan it to be this way, your mother and me
But things have got so bad between us
I don't see us ever being together ever again
Like we used to be when we was teenagers
But then of course everything always happens for a reason
I guess it was never meant to be
But it's just something we have no control over and that's what destiny is
But no more worries, rest your head and go to sleep
Maybe one day we'll wake up and this will all just be a dream

[Chorus]
Now hush little baby, don't you cry
Everything's gonna be alright
Stiffen that upper lip up little lady, i told ya
Daddy's here to hold ya through the night
I know mommy's not here right now and we don't know why
We feel how we feel inside
It may seem a little crazy, pretty baby
But i promise momma's gon' be alright

It's funny
I remember back one year when daddy had no money
Mommy wrapped the Christmas presents up
And stuck 'em under the tree and said some of 'em were from me
Cuz daddy couldn't buy 'em
I'll never forget that Christmas I sat up the whole night crying
Cuz daddy felt like a bum, see daddy had a job
But his job was to keep the food on the table for you and mom
And at the time every house that we lived in
Either kept getting broke into and robbed
Or shot up on the block and your mom was saving money for you in a jar
Tryna start a piggy bank for you so you could go to college
Almost had a thousand dollars till someone broke in and stole it
And I know it hurt so bad it broke your momma's heart
And it seemed like everything was just startin' to fall apart
Mom and dad was arguin' a lot so momma moved back
On the Chalmers in the flat one bedroom apartment
And dad moved back to the other side of 8 Mile on Novara
And that's when daddy went to California with his CD and met Dr. Dre
And flew you and momma out to see me
But daddy had to work, you and momma had to leave me
Then you started seeing daddy on the T.V. and momma didn't like it
And you and Laney were to young to understand it
Papa was a rollin' stone, momma developed a habit
And it all happened too fast for either one of us to grab it
I'm just sorry you were there and had to witness it first hand
Cuz all I ever wanted to do was just make you proud
Now I'm sittin in this empty house, just reminiscing
Lookin' at your baby pictures, it just trips me out
To see how much you both have grown, it's almost like you're sisters now
Wow, guess you pretty much are and daddy's still here
Laney I'm talkin' to you too, daddy's still here
I like the sound of that, yeah
It's got a ring to it don't it?
Shh, momma's only gone for the moment

[Chorus]
Now hush little baby, don't you cry
Everything's gonna be alright
Stiffen that upper lip up little lady, i told ya
Daddy's here to hold ya through the night
I know mommy's not here right now and we don't know why
We feel how we feel inside
It may seem a little crazy, pretty baby
But i promise momma's gon' be alright

And if you ask me too
Daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird
I'mma give you the world
I'mma buy a diamond ring for you
I'mma sing for you
I'll do anything for you to see you smile
And if that mockingbird don't sing and that ring don't shine
I'mma break that birdies neck
I'd go back to the jewler who sold it to ya
And make him eat every carat don't fuck with dad (haha)


Sing For The Moment


[Verse #1]
These ideas are nightmares for white parents
Whose worst fear is a child with dyed hair and who likes earrings
Like whatever they say has no bearing
Its so scary in a house that allows no swearing
To see him walking around with his headphones blaring
Alone in his own zone, cold and he dont care
He's a problem child, what bothers him all comes out
When he talks about his fuckin' dad walkin out
Cos he hates him so bad that he blocks him out
But if he ever saw him again, he'd prolly knock him out
His thoughts are whacked, he's mad so he's talkin' back
Talkin black, brainwashed from rock and rap
He sags his pants, 2 rags and a stocking cap
His step-father hit him so he socked him back
And broke his nose, this house is a broken home
There's no control, he just lets his emotions go
Come on...

[Chorus:]
Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
Sing with me,just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away

[Verse #2]
Entertainment is danger, intertwine it with gansters
In the land of the killers, a sinner's mind is a sanctum
Only you're unholy, only have one homey
Only this gun, lonely, cuz don't anyone know me
But everybody just feels like they can relate
I guess words are a motherfucker, they can be great
Or they can be great, or even worse, they can teach hate
Its like kids hang on every single statement we make
Like they worship us, plus all the stores ship us platinum
Now how the fuck did this metamorphasis happen?
From standin' on corners and porches just rappin'
To havin' a fortune, no more kissin' ass
But then these critics crucify you, journalists try to burn you
Fans turn on you, attorney's all gonna turn it to
To get their hands on every dime you have
They want you to lose your mind every time you mad
So they can try to make you out to look like a loose canon
You need to spew, dont hesitate to produce air-guns
Thats why these prosecutors wanna convict me
Swiftly just to get me offa these streets quickly
But all their kids been listen'n to me religiously
So i'm signing cds while police fingerprint me
They're for the judges daughter, but his grudge is against me
If i'm such a fuckin' menace, this shit doesnt make sense, Pete
It's all political, if my music is literal and i'm a criminal,
How the fuck can i raise a little girl?
I couldn't. i wouldn't be fit to
You're full of shit too, Guerrera, that was a fist that hit you!

[Chorus]

[Verse #3]
They say music can alter moods and talk to you
But can it load a gun for you and cock it too?
Well if it can, then the next time you assault a dude
Just tell the judge it was my fault, and i'll get sued
See what these kids do, is hear about us toting pistols
And they want to get one, cos they think the shit's cool
Not knowin' we're really just protectin' ourselves
We're entertainers, of course this shit's affecting our sales
You ignoramus. but music is reflection of self
We just explain it, and then we get our cheques in the mail
It's fucked up ain't it, how we can come from practically nothin'
To bein' able to have any fuckin' thing that we wanted
It's why we sing for these kids that don't have a thing
Except for a dream and a fucking rap magazine
Who post pinup pictures on their walls all day long
Idolise their favourite rappers and know all they songs
Or for anyone who's ever been through shit in they lives
So they sit and they cry at night, wishing they die
Till they throw on a rap record, and they sit and they vibe
We're nothing to you, but we're the fuckin' shit in their eyes
That's why we sieze the moment, and try to freeze it and own it
Squeeze it and hold it, 'cos we consider these minutes golden
And maybe they'll admit it when we're gone
Just let our spirits live on, through out lyrics that you hear in our songs
And we can

[Chorus]

[Chorus Without Beat]

Without Me


"Obie Trice, real name no gimmicks" - Obie Trice

[Intro]
Two trailer park girls go round the outside;
round the outside, round the outside
{*scratches*
Two trailer park girls go round the outside;
round the outside, round the outside
{*scratches*

Guess who's back
Back again
Shady's back
Tell a friend
Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back
guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back.. {*Eminem hums*

[Verse One: Eminem]
I've created a monster, cause nobody wants to see Marshall no more
They want Shady, I'm chopped liver (huh?)
Well if you want Shady, this is what I'll give ya
A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor
Some vodka that'll jump start my heart quicker
than a shock when I get shocked at the hospital
by the doctor when I'm not co-operating
When I'm rockin the table while he's operating (hey!!)
You waited this long, now stop debating
Cause I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovu-lating
I know that you got a job Ms. Cheney
but your husband's heart problem's complicating
So the FCC won't let me be
or let me be me, so let me see
They try to shut me down on MTV
But it feels so empty, without me
So, come on and dip, bum on your lips
Fuck that, cum on your lips, and some on your tits
And get ready, cause this shit's about to get heavy
I just settled all my lawsuits, FUCK YOU DEBBIE!

[Chorus: Eminem]
Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody, just follow me
Cause we need a little, controversy
Cause it feels so empty, without me
I said this looks like a job for me
So everybody, just follow me
Cause we need a little, controversy
Cause it feels so empty, without me

[Verse Two: Eminem]
Little Hellions, kids feelin rebellious
Embarrassed their parents still listen to Elvis
They start feelin like prisoners helpless
'til someone comes along on a mission and yells BITCH!!!
A visionary, vision of scary
Could start a revolution, pollutin the airwaves
A rebel, so just let me revel and bask
in the fact that I got everyone kissin my ass {*smak*
And it's a disaster, such a catastrophe
for you to see so damn much of my ass; you asked for me?
Well I'm back, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
{*bzzt* Fix your bent antenna tune it in and then I'm gonna
enter in, endin up under your skin like a splinter
The center of attention, back for the winter
I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling
Infesting in your kid's ears and nesting
{*bzzt* Testing, attention please
Feel the tension, soon as someone mentions me
Here's my ten cents, my two cents is free
A nuisance, who sent? You sent for me?

[Chorus]

[Verse Three: Eminem]
A-tisket a-tasket, I go tit for tat with
anybody who's talkin this shit, that shit
Chris Kirkpatrick, you can get your ass kicked
worse than them little Limp Bizkit bastards
And Moby? You can get stomped by Obie
You thirty-six year old baldheaded fag, blow me
You don't know me, you're too old, let go
It's over, nobody listen to techno
Now let's go, just gimme the signal
I'll be there with a whole list full of new insults
I been dope, suspenseful with a pencil
ever since Prince turned himself into a symbol {*knife slices*
But sometimes the shit just seems
everybody only wants to discuss me
So this must mean I'm dis-gus-ting
But it's just me, I'm just obscene
No I'm not the first king of controversy
I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley
to do black music so selfishly
and used it to get myself wealthy
(Hey!!) There's a concept that works
Twenty million other white rappers emerge
But no matter how many fish in the sea
It'll be so empty, without me

[Chorus]

{*Eminem sings this twice:
"Chem-hie-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la"*

[Eminem] Kids!

Superman


[Dina Rea:]
Mmmhh

[Eminem:]
You high baby?

[Dina Rea:]
Yeahh...

[Eminem:]
Yeah?

[Dina Rea:]
hahaha..Talk to me...

[Eminem:]
You want me to tell you somethin?

[Dina Rea:]
Uh huh...

[Eminem:]
I know what you wanna hear...
'Cuz I know you want me baby I think I want you too...

[Dina Rea:]
I think I love you baby...

[Eminem:]
I think I love you too...
I'm here to save you girl,
Come be in shady's world,
I wanna grow together,
Let's let our love unfurl.
You know you want me baby,
You know I want you too,
They call me Superman,
I'm here to rescue you,
I wanna save you girl,
come be in Shady's world...

[Dina Rea:]
oh boy you drive me crazy...

[Eminem:]
Bitch you make me hurl...

[Eminem:]
They call me Superman,
Leap tall hoes in a single bound,
I'm single now,
Got no ring on this finger now,
I'll never let another chick bring me down,
In a relationship, save it bitch, babysit? you make me sick,
Superman aint savin shit, girl you can jump on shady's dick,
Straight from the hip, cut to the chase,
I'll tell a mo'fuckin slut to her face,
Play no games, say no names, ever since I broke up with what's her face,
I'm a different man, kiss my ass, kiss my lips, bitch why ask?
Kiss my dick, hit my cash, i'd rather have you whip my ass,
Don't put out? i'll put you out,
Won't get out? i'll push you out,
Puss blew out, copin shit,
Wouldn't piss on fire to put you out,
Am I too nice? buy you ice,
Bitch if you died, wouldn't buy you life,
What you tryin to be, my new wife?
What you Mariah? fly through twice,
But I do know one thing though,
Bitches they come, they go,
Saturday through sunday monday,
Monday through sunday yo,
Maybe i'll love you one day,
Maybe we'll someday grow,
Till then just sit your drunk ass on that fuckin runway hoe...

[Chorus:]
'Cuz I can't be your superman,
Can't be your superman,
Can't be your superman,
Can't be your superman,
I can't be your superman,
Can't be your superman,
Can't be your superman,
Your superman, your superman...

[Eminem:]
Don't get me wrong,
I love these hoes,
It's no secret,
Everybody knows,
Can't we fuck?
Bitch so what?
That's about as far as your buddy goes,
We'll be friends,
I'll call you again,
I'll chase you around every bar you attend,
Never know what kind of car i'll be in,
[Woman Screaming]
We'll see how much you'll be partying then,
You don't want that,
Neither do I,
I don't wanna flip when I see you with guys,
Too much pride,
Between you and I,
Not a jealous man, but females lie,
But I guess that's just what sluts do,
How could it ever be just us two?
Never loved you enough to trust you,
We just met and I just fucked you,
But I do know one thing though,
Bitches they come they go,
Saturday through Sunday monday,
Monday through Sunday yo,
Maybe I'll love you one day,
Maybe we'll someday grow,
'Till then just sit your drunk ass on that fuckin runway hoe...

[Eminem & Dina Rae Over Chorus 2x]

[Eminem:]
I know you want me baby,
I think I want you too...

[Dina Rea:]
I think I love you baby...

[Eminem:]
I think I love you too,
I'm here to save you girl,
Come be in shady's world,
I wanna grow together,
Lets let our love unfurl,
You know you want me baby,
You know I want you too,
They call me Superman,
I'm here to rescue you,
I wanna save you girl,
Come be in shady's world...

[Dina Rea:]
Oh boy you drive me crazy...

[Eminem:]
Bitch you make me hurl.

[Eminem:]
First thing you said...

[Eminem As Women:]
I'm not phazed,
I hang around big stars all day,
I don't see what the big deal is anyway,
You're just plain ol' Marshall to me...

[Eminem:]
Ooh yeah girl run that game...

[Eminem As Women:]
Haily Jade...I love that name,
Love that tattoo...what's that say?
'rot in pieces' aww that's great...

[Eminem:]
First off you don't know Marshall,
Add also, don't grow partial,
That's ammo for my arsenal,
I'll snap you off that bar stool,
There goes another lawsuit,
Leave handprints all accross you,
Good lordy-wody you must be blown off that water bottle,
You want what you can't have,
Ooh girl that's too damn bad,
Don't touch what you can't grab,
End up with two back hands,
Put Anthrax on a Tampax and slap you till you can't stand,
Girl you just blew your chance,
Don't mean to ruin your plans,
But I do know one thing though,
Bitches they come they go,
Saturday through Sunday Monday,
Monday through Sunday yo,
Maybe I'll love you one day,
Maybe we'll someday grow,
'Till then just sit your drunk ass on that fuckin runway hoe...

[Eminem & Dina Rae Over Chorus 2x]

[Eminem:]
I know you want me baby,
I think I want you too...

[Dina Rea:]
I think I love you baby...

[Eminem:]
I think I love you too,
I'm here to save you girl,
Come be in Shady's world,
I wanna grow together,
Lets let our love unfurl,
You know you want me baby,
You know I want you too,
They call me Superman,
I'm here to rescue you,
I wanna save you girl,
Come be in shady's world...

[Dina Rea:]
Oh boy you drive me crazy...

[Eminem:]
Bitch you make me hurl.

[Chorus 2x B/W Dina Rea Singing]


Real Slim Shady

[eminem]
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real slim shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real slim shady please stand up?
We�re gonna have a problem here..

Y�all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like pam, like tommy just burst in the door
And started whoopin her ass worse than before
They first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (ahh!)
It�s the return of the... "ah, wait, no way, you�re kidding,
He didn�t just say what I think he did, did he? "
And dr. dre said... nothing you idiots!
Dr. dre�s dead, he�s locked in my basement! (ha-ha!)
Feminist women love eminem {*vocal turntable:
Chigga chigga chigga* "slim shady, I�m sick of him
Look at him, walkin around grabbin his you-know-what
Flippin the you-know-who," "yeah, but he�s so cute though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what�s goin on in your parents� bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on tv and just let loose, but can�t
But it�s cool for tom green to hump a dead moose
"my bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if I�m lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that�s the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman�s clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the discovery channel don�t they?
"we ain�t nothing but mammals.." well, some of us cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes {*slurp*
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then there�s no reason that a man and another man can�t elope
{*ewww!* but if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes

Chorus: eminem (repeat 2x)

I�m slim shady, yes I�m the real shady
All you other slim shadys are just imitating
So won�t the real slim shady please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?

[eminem]
Will smith don�t gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
You think I give a damn about a grammy?
Half of you critics can�t even stomach me, let alone stand me
"but slim, what if you win, wouldn�t it be weird? "
Why? so you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to britney spears?
Shit, christina aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to carson daly and fred durst
And hear �em argue over who she gave head to first
You little bitch, put me on blast on mtv
"yeah, he�s cute, but I think he�s married to kim, hee-hee!"
I should download her audio on mp3
And show the whole world how you gave eminem vd {*ahhh!*
I�m sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
So I have been sent here to destroy you {*bzzzt*
And there�s a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me; who just don�t give a fuck like me
Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

Chorus

[eminem]
I�m like a head trip to listen to, cause I�m only givin you
Things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
In front of y�all and I don�t gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it {*err* I just shit it
Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
It�s funny; cause at the rate I�m goin when I�m thirty
I�ll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
Pinchin nurses asses when I�m jackin off with jergens
And I�m jerkin but this whole bag of viagra isn�t working
And every single person is a slim shady lurkin
He could be workin at burger king, spittin on your onion rings
{*hach* or in the parkin lot, circling
Screaming "i don�t give a fuck!"
With his windows down and his system up
So, will the real shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

Chorus 2x

[eminem]
Ha ha
Guess there�s a slim shady in all of us
Fuck it, let�s all stand up


The Way I Am


Whatever
Dre just let it run
Ay yo turn the beat up a little bit
Ay yo, this song is for anyone
Fuck it just shut up and listen

Ay yo
I sit back with this pack of zigzags
And this bag of this weed
It gives me the shit needed to be
The most meanest emcee on this - on this earth
Cause since birth I've been cursed with this curse to just cursed
And just blurt this bezerk and bizarre shit that works
And it sells and it helps in its self
To relieve all this tension dispensing me
Sentence is getting it, stress has been eating me recently
All through this chest and I rest to get peacefully
But at least have the decency in you to leave me alone
When you freaks see me out in the streets when I'm eating or feedin' my daughter
To not come and speak to me
I don't know you and no I don't owe you a motherfuckin thing
I'm not Mr. NSYNC and I'm not what your friends think
I'm not Mr. Friendly
I can be a prick, if you tip me my tank is on empty
No patience is in me and if you offend me I'm lifting you ten feet
In the air, I don't care who was there and who saw me just jaw you
Go call you a lawyer file you a lawsuit
I'll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobe
I'm tired of arguing - I don't mean to mean but it's all I can be
It's just me

And I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam

Cause I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am

Sometimes I just feel like my father, I hate to be bothered
With all of this nonsense it's constant
And "oh it's just lyrical content!"
The song "Guilty Conscience" has gotten such rotten responses
And all of this controversy circles me
And it seems like the media immediately points a finger at me
So I point one back at 'em
But not the index or the pinky or the ring or the thumb
It's the one you put up when you don't give a fuck
When you won't just put up with the bullshit they pull
Cause they full of shit too
When a dude's gettin bullied and shoots up your school
And they blame it on Marilyn - and the heroin
Where were the parents at?
And look at where it's at middle America
Now it's a tragedy
Now it's so sad to see
An upper class city having this happening
Then attack Eminem cause I rap this way
But I'm glad cause they feed me the fuel
That I need for the fire to burn and it's burnin' and I have returned

And I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam

Cause I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am

I'm so sick and tired of being admired
That I wish that I would just die or get fired
And drop from my label and stop with the fables
I'm not gonna be able to top what my name is
And pigeon holdin' to some poppy sensations
They cop me rotation at Rock 'N' Roll stations
And I just do not have the patience
To deal with this cocky Caucasians
Who think I'm some wigga who just tries to be black
Cause I talk with an accent and grab on my balls
So they always keep asking the same fucking questions
What school did I go to?
What hood I grew up in?
The why? The who, what?
When and where and the how?
Till I'm grabbing my hair and I'm tearing it out
You've been driving me crazy, I can't take it
I'm racing, I'm pacing, I stand and I sit
And I'm thankful for every fan that I get
But I can't take a shit in the bathroom
Without someone standing by it
No I won't sign your autograph
You can call me an asshole
I'm glad cause

And I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam

Cause I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am

Cleaning Out My Closet

[Intro]
Where's my snare?
I have no snare in my headphones - there you go
Yeah.. yo, yo

[Eminem]
Have you ever been hated or discriminated against?
I have; I've been protested and demonstrated against
Picket signs for my wicked rhymes, look at the times
Sick as the mind of the motherfuckin kid that's behind
all this commotion emotions run deep as ocean's explodin
Tempers flarin from parents just blow 'em off and keep goin
Not takin nothin from no one give 'em hell long as I'm breathin
Keep kickin ass in the mornin and takin names in the evenin
Leave 'em with a taste as sour as vinegar in they mouth
See they can trigger me, but they'll never figure me out
Look at me now; I bet ya probably sick of me now ain't you momma?
I'ma make you look so ridiculous now

[Chorus: Eminem]
I'm sorry momma!
I never meant to hurt you!
I never meant to make you cry; but tonight
I'm cleanin out my closet (one more time)
I said I'm sorry momma!
I never meant to hurt you!
I never meant to make you cry; but tonight
I'm cleanin out my closet

[Eminem]
Ha! I got some skeletons in my closet
and I don't know if no one knows it
So before they thrown me inside my coffin and close it
I'ma expose it; I'll take you back to '73
before I ever had a multi-platinum sellin CD
I was a baby, maybe I was just a couple of months
My faggot father must have had his panties up in a bunch
cause he split, I wonder if he even kissed me goodbye
No I don't on second thought I just fuckin wished he would die
I look at Hailie, and I couldn't picture leavin her side
Even if I hated Kim, I grit my teeth and I'd try
to make it work with her at least for Hailie's sake
I maybe made some mistakes
but I'm only human, but I'm man enough to face them today
What I did was stupid, no doubt it was dumb
But the smartest shit I did was take the bullets outta that gun
Cuz I'da killed him; shit I woulda shot Kim and them both
It's my life, I'd like to welcome y'all to "The Eminem Show"

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
Now I would never diss my own momma just to get recognition
Take a second to listen for who you think this record is dissin
But put yourself in my position; just try to envision
witnessin your momma poppin prescription pills in the kitchen
Bitchin that someone's always goin throuh her purse and shit's missin
Goin through public housin systems, victim of Munchausen's Syndrome
My whole life I was made to believe I was sick when I wasn't
'til I grew up, now I blew up, it makes you sick to ya stomach
doesn't it? Wasn't it the reason you made that CD for me Ma?
So you could try to justify the way you treated me Ma?
But guess what? You're gettin older now and it's cold when your lonely
And Nathan's growin up so quick he's gonna know that your phony
And Hailie's gettin so big now; you should see her, she's beautiful
But you'll never see her - she won't even be at your funeral!
See what hurts me the most is you won't admit you was wrong
Bitch do your song - keep tellin yourself that you was a mom!
But how dare you try to take what you didn't help me to get
You selfish bitch; I hope you fuckin burn in hell for this shit
Remember when Ronnie died and you said you wished it was me?
Well guess what, I +AM+ dead - dead to you as can be!

[Chorus] - repeat 2X


Ass Like That

[Eminem]
Ill be...

[Hook n Eminem]
The way you shake it
I can't believe it
I ain't never seen a ass like that
The way you move it
You make my pee pee go
Da-doing doing doing

I don't believe it
It's almost too good to be true
I ain't never seen a ass like that
The way you move it
You make my pee pee go
Da-doing doing doing

[Verse 1]:
The way she moves she's like a belly dancer
She's shakin that ass to the new nelly jams
I think someone's at the door, but I don't think i'ma answer
Police saying freeze...da-doing doing doing
What do you mean freeze?
Please I'm a human being
I have needs, I'm not done
Not till I'm finished pee-ing
I am not resisting arrest, I am agree-ing
Mister officer, I'm already on my knees
I can't get on the ground any further it's impossible for me
And do not treat me like a murderer, I just like to pee
Pee, pee, yes I make R'n'B
I sing song that go ringy chong
Ching chong chong chong ching
Psyche, I joke, I joke, I kid, I kid
If I offend, I'm sorry please please forgive
For I am Triumph the Puppet Dog, I am a mere puppet
I can get away with anything I say and you will love it

[Hook n Eminem]
The way you shake it
I can't believe it
I ain't never seen a ass like that
The way you move it
You make my pee pee go
Da-doing doing doing

Jessica simpson
looks oh so temptin
Nick I ain't never seen a ass like that
Everytime I see the show on MTV
My pee pee goes
Da-doing doing doing

[Verse 2]:
Mary-Kate and Ashley used to be so wholesome
Now they gettin older they startin to grow bum-bums
I go to the movies and sit down with my popcorn
Police saying freeze...da-doing doing doing
What do you mean freeze?
Jeez, I just got my seat
I have tickit, look I put it away my zipper zipped
Please do not remove me from this movie theater please
I did not even get to see Mary-Kate's shower scene
I didn't mean to be obscene or make a great big scene
And don't treat me like I'm Pee Wee Herman
This movie is PG mister officer
I demand to see my attorney
I will simply plead innocent, cop a plea and be free
Free, yes, free, right back on the streets
What you mean my lawyer is with Michael
He's too busy, I'm Triumph
Britney Spears has shoulders like a man
And I can say that and you laugh
Cos there's a puppet on my hand [ha-ha-haaaaa]

[Hook n Eminem]
The way you shake it
I can't believe it
I ain't never seen a ass like that
The way you move it
You make my pee pee go
Da-doing doing doing

Hilary Duff is
Not quite old enough so
I ain't never seen a butt like that
Maybe next year I'll say ass
And she'll make my pee pee go
Da-doing doing doing

[Verse 3]:
The way she moves she dances like a gogo
In that video she sings "Get Out" you boso,
"I need a new boyfriend, Hi my name is JoJo"
Police saying freeze...da-doing doing doing
What do you mean freeze?
My computers will be seized
And my keys to my ranch, I just baked cookies
Mister officer, lookie, take a whiff of these
Here, I make Jesus juice, take a sip of this
Nobody is safe from me, no not even me
I don't even know if I can say the word pee-pee
Pee, on the radio, but I think I did
Janet, is that a breast? I think I just saw a tit!
Psyche, I joke, I joke, I kid, I kid
I don't think my joke is working, I must flee
Quick, get to the chopper, everybody get down
I'm not Triumph, I'm Arnold, get down

[Hook n Eminem]
The way you shake it
I can't believe it
I ain't never seen a ass like that
The way you move it
You make my pee pee go
D-doing doing doing

So Gwen Stefani
Will you pee-pee on me please?
I ain't never seen a ass like that
Cos the way you move it
You make my pee-pee go
D-doing doing doing

[Dre]
What the fuck is wrong with you?!

I'm Having a Relapse

How the hell did he manage to get more felony charges?
He’s already got life in jail, man, what the hell is his problem?
Well, to be honest the smell of these chronic leaves make me hella demonic
They’ve compelled me to kill this elderly man
And I get these panic attacks
Pop a X@nax, relax
Tryna stick my f@#kin’ dick inside a mannequin’s ass
Then I get manic depressed
See the orthodontist get gassed
Man, it’s kick @ss
The first thing I put on is the mask
Speaking of masks, man, it ain’t too late to have a change of face
And take it off and show my face so you can see the things you facin’
Slice you up and cook you after you’re murdered by strangulation
That’s bacon souffle you makin’, ain’t you? Well, thank you Jason
There goes one more coma
Due to blunt force trauma
Just give me one more Soma
And I’ll be done for, mama
Go in the damn broom closet
Another Valium, lost it
Shovin’ the vacuum nozzle
Eminem lyrics on www.lyrics-celebrities.anekatips.com
Down the bathroom faucet
Seems like every day I get a little flakier
The medication is making my hands a little shakier
Hand me the 18 month old baby, come shake ‘em up
It’ll only take me a second to choke his trachea
Breakin’ his neck in eigh tsome places
Baby, he’s Shady comes lady
He’s got the razor-b-blades and the ch-ch-chain-ch-saw, baby
You b-b-blundering, bumbling m-m-mumbling dum-dum
Yeah, here I come-come, you hear the rumbling? Vrum-vrum
There’s something inside of that blue tub and that drum-drum
My head and torso are some won’ where they come from
Who’s it belong to, maybe the girl with the long blonde hair
Who disappeared and left her cheerleader pom-poms
Clearly there’s some’ wrong
‘Cause she didn’t come home
She’s missing
Where is she?
Something fishy is goin’ on
I guess he stuck the bitch with the pitchfork with the long prongs
Now everybody get your dance on to my damn song
Come on